ZestW

My wife has had some items of clothing go missing over the last few months, which baffled us. A few weeks ago, she went into our 15-year-old son's bedroom to wake him up and thought he was wearing tights and a skirt in bed. While he was at school we discovered a stash of her clothes concealed in his wardrobe: bras, tights, sports bras, swimsuits and sports skirts. We have no idea how to deal with this situation. Doing nothing doesn't feel right and anyway, my wife would like her clothes back.

Relax. An erotic interest in cross-dressing is pretty common and falls within the normative range of human sexual interest and behaviour. Try not to make too much of this and do your best not to make your son feel wicked or ashamed. Be aware that one cannot make any assumptions about his sexual orientation (most male cross-dressers are heterosexual).

I am assuming that your son has never expressed a desire to be female. That would also be fairly common and would similarly require your acceptance – although you might want to consult a transgender specialist. But I imagine this is simply his emerging sexual style, so let him be. Try to have a brief, calm conversation in which you need to be very accepting (at least act it!). Remind him that you love him no matter what, and understand his desire to experiment, but that he needs to purchase his own clothes, rather than use his mother's.

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